Weigh in - Month 7

Well, I DID get weighed today...it said 446. 2 weeks ago it said 441, and then last week it said 458! My official weigh in last month was 450 so it says I have lost 4 pounds. I am quite disappointed with myself, making excuses not to go to the gym. NO MORE EXCUSES! This month we are gonna rock the gym! We are planning a trip to Michigan in May and I really want to lose almost 100 pounds before then. I CAN DO IT! KEEP MOVING FORWARD!!!!

True Confessions

I feel I must be honest about my day yesterday. My cravings were so bad yesterday and I gave in. I prayed, I cried, and I tried not to, but I failed. I ate 2 breakfast burritos....then french toast. For lunch I ate one of those personal pizzas, and after all of that dairy and all of those carbs I felt soooo tired and sooo sick. I had no energy to cook, so to top off the day, We ordered chinese. I cant BELIEVE I did that to myself!

Well I DID sleep, of course from all of that food, but I kept waking up all night with HORRIBLE gas and bathroom issues. And this morning they are not over. Every bone in my body said, "you dont feel good, stay in bed", but I didnt! I couldnt! I did this to myself, and if I let myself rest and stay in bed, it will just keep happening again and again. I got up at 430 am and did my normal workouts, and then when I got home from the gym, I put my stuff inside and went OUTSIDE and worked in the yard. My stomach is HUGE, and I feel like poop, but I am SO glad I didnt stay in bed. If I choose to do that to myself, then I will have to live with the consequences! Usually it takes a few days for this to be over and my stomach to go back down, but I think that if I just keep moving and doing what I am suppose to, it will not take as long. So far, started the day off with 1/2 c cereal, no milk, and an apple.

Patience is a Virtue!

I am REALLY having trouble being patient right now. I want the weight off and I want it off now! The thing I have to remember is that it took me 28 years to get this way and it is not going to happen over night. I am soooo tired of food! Not eating isn't going to help, it will make things worse. Sometimes I exercise TOO MUCH and then the next day I am too worn out to do it again. I have to get a handle on this.

I want a treadmill so bad, but a bariatric one costs thousands of dollars. I have to lose 61 more pounds before I can get a normal one, which I found a really nice one for about $400. My goal is to have it by Christmas. I am working very hard towards this goal. Once I have the treadmill I can walk no matter what the weather is like, and eventually RUN! The thought of me running is crazy! The last time I actually "ran" was, oh I don't know, maybe in middle school? Whenever they quit making us take P.E... ROFL I cant wait though, just need some patience right now

If you are a newly acquired friend, I would LOVE for you to follow my blog!

Still Sick!

Well, I went to the hospital to get my packing out of my back and it has not healed, so they had to repack it. The doctor was NOT gentle, and he didn't even numb it before doing it. It was such a horrible experience. And I can not get back to Curves until the packing is out. My first weigh in is coming up on Monday I am not looking forward to it. This first month I was sick for a week and now down for another so I will try to remember that when I get weighed. There's no way I have gained, but my weight loss numbers will probably be low.

Please continue to pray for me in any way you can. Pray for good health, patience, control, and wisdom. Thank you very much!

Frustration Sets In

I am having some reoccurring health problems that started today. Woke up in a tremendous amount of pain and very nauseous. I went ahead to curves and tried to work out...it was a waste of time. I couldn't do very much and it only caused MORE pain. Then I went to the doctor and got no good news there. Not only was results bad, but they once again were pushing the weight loss surgery on me. I understand that they are looking in my best interest, but I was trying to tell them about the GREAT things that I am doing on my own and it didn't seem to matter.

What frustrates me so is that I am desperately trying to turn my health around and every time i get on a roll and get a good handle on things, something happens. I am trying to look to the Lord for help in this matter. For understanding and patience. I know that this is going to keep happening for awhile, but I am trying to see the blessing through all of this. Even though I am in a lot of pain today, I haven't been in almost 2 weeks! Before I started working out this would happen every couple of days or so. Things are improving, but I need much prayer and support from all of you. I don't mind begging for prayer...lol. I am not going to the gym tomorrow and will have to see what Friday brings. I also have a tendency to make bad food choices when i am sick so please pray for me in that area as well.

Baby Blues

It is no secret that the thing I want most is a baby. This time of the year it is very hard for me. Seems that I am surrounded by pregnant women, and Mothers day is coming up. I have my good days and my bad. Lately, a lot more bad than good. The last couple of years we have had so many babies born in our church. Sometimes it is hard for me to watch. I love all of my dear friends and am always happy for them when I hear the news. Envy and jealousy do come into play, but I would never be mad that someone else is pregnant.

Sometimes I do feel that people treat me different. Like if they tell me they are pregnant I will break. The only thing that hurts my feelings is that they feel they cant tell me. I feel I am the last to know.

I know that I am not physically fit to take care of a baby right now, and in Gods timing I will have one. Please pray for me to have patience in the matter. I know this isn't about weight loss, but losing weight, getting healthy, and having a baby all tie in together for me. And if you are reading this and are pregnant, please do not take this the wrong way. I love every one of you very much and am happy for all of you, but this blog is about me being open about EVERYTHING, and I felt that I needed to get this off of my chest.

Hit a Snag

So I thought that I was getting better, but after my workout today I started having breathing problems...ended up spending most of the night at the hospital. I have bronchitis and they let me come home on the condition that i would not go to curves until better and do nothing but rest.

I am pretty frustrated right now about this. Staying in bed was the last thing that i wanted to do. I am not going to let this stop me from being healthy. It is quite a set back, but I will KEEP MOVING FORWARD!